Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
