Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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