I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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