I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
