U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
