So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
