The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
