Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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