is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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