i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
