I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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