I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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