i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
