so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
