ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
