is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
