was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
