You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
