miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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