do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
