We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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