Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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