Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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