im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Randomize
