My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
