i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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