I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
