Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I should be sponsored by Trojan
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think my moral compass just broke
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