i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
