thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
pray to the hookup gods
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
