what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
