I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
