I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
