You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
