So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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