They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
