I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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