Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
