Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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