READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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