he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
