Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
