dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
