You're so nebulous sometimes
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
