Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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