I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
