i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
