I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
