I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
