My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
