No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I have post one night stand depression
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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