i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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