i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
